The key to communicating effectively with team members, clients/customers, and/or with our own families starts with us. We are the ones in the driver seats to create the two-way interaction that we seek and the connection that will make them feel heard.
I realize how much I rely on the skills I have learned about personality profiling and languaging in order to communicate effectively with people. Each person has a core way they like to be communicated with and as the person talking, we need to bend our style to theirs.
I was reminded of this the other day on a phone call. I decided specifically to make a word choice based on what I was hearing from the person. It was a simple choice; Do I use the word ‘challenge’ or ‘encourage’.
For those who like to hear, “I challenge you to . . .” it is the perfect word to motivate you. BUT for those who shut down when someone says ‘challenge’, it is better to use, “I encourage you to . . .”. That will motivate them.
How do you know when to use what type of language or wording? My experience using the DiSC personality test has given me the clues. AND, I want to give you specific things to look for and listen for so you know how best to respond.
Communication Styles
For a quick review, DiSC stand for Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientious. The descriptions are as follows:
- D This person is motivated by competition and winning. They want results, are self-confident and direct.
- i This person is motivated by social recognition and collaboration. They are magnetic and enthusiastic.
- S This person is motivated by cooperation and providing support. They are deliberate and sincere and want harmony.
- C This person is motivated by opportunities to gain knowledge and show their quality work. They are meticulous and systematic.
By looking at the four personalities, Can you tell which ones prefer ‘challenge’ to ‘encourage’? By the end of this blog you will have a solid strategy for your next communication with someone in your life.
Communicating the Right Way
I want to take you through each letter of the DiSC and give you characteristics to spot the personality and then what types of words to use (and not use) with each. There are many more clues you can use, such as dress, body language, writing style, and more. We are just going to focus on their word choices in conversation to help you better communicate your message to them.
Ds-
Communicate by:
Being efficient and businesslike
Getting to the point
Setting and clarifying goals and objectives
Giving them conclusions (only provide details if asked)
Solving problems and objections
Talking in terms of results not methods
Words that Work:
- Win
- Lead the field
- Results
- Now, new
- Challenge
Words/Actions that DON’T Work:
- Follow my directions
- In my opinion. . .
- Frequent interruptions
i’s-
Communicate by:
Leaving plenty of time for talk and social niceties
Asking them about their family, children, etc (and be prepared to chat about yours
Letting them ‘experience’ what you are communitcating (if possible)
Talking in terms of people and stories
Using lots of examples
Words that Work:
- Fun
- Exciting
- I feel. . .
- Sociable
- This will make you look good
Words/Actions that DON’T Work:
- . .
- The same for everyone
- Sophisticated
- Requires study
S’s-
Communicate by:
- Not coming on too strong
- Earning their trust in small steps
- Not asking for big decisions right away
- Providing plenty of reassurance
- Talking in terms of security
Words that Work:
- Step-by-step improvement
- Help me out
- Guarantee/Promise
- Think about it
Words/Actions that DON’T Work:
- Substantive change
- Innovation
- Play to win
C’s-
Communicate by:
- Making sure you are well prepared
- Having plenty of facts and figures
- Preparing for their skepticism
- Answering all their questions
- Going slow to give them time to think and analyze
Words that Work:
- Here are the facts. . .
- No risk
- Proven
- Analysis
- Guaranteed
Words/Actions that DON’T Work:
- Untested
- Cutting-edge
- Educated guess
- Experimental
More to Communicating
Our natural tendency in communicating is to use our own style because it is what comes naturally and automatically to us. But if we want to be more effective communicators, we need to adapt our style to that of the person to whom we are trying to connect.
We can sum up the four behavioral styles of the DiSC in this way . . .
- D’s want Results and feel Anger
- I’s want Experiences and feel Trust/Optimism
- S’s want Peace & Security and feel Not to be a Burden to others
- C’s want Facts and Data and feel Fear
By noticing the way others are communicating and listening to what they are and are not saying you will know what to say and how to say it. Their choice of words will give you clues about how to respond to and motivate them. You will be the one who is the expert at connecting with how they are feeling and able to address their concerns and needs in every encounter.
Your communication flexibility will make you the go-to person when others want someone who understands them. You are able to be the bridge between others and connect them to not only one another but to you.
This so important because when you are able to communicate on the level of the person in front of you, then you are able to collaborate, persuade, influence, and inspire anyone. I challenge/encourage you to start communicating better today.
Be filled to overflowing,
Deneen
Leave a Reply