Why Doing More Won’t Help You Grow Closer to God

You weren’t created to earn God’s presence, you were created to walk with Him.

Have you ever finished another Bible reading plan, listened to another Christian podcast, or committed to another spiritual habit and still felt like you weren’t growing?

Maybe you’ve even wondered:

“Why do I still feel far from God when I’m trying so hard?”

If that’s you, let me reassure you of something that may surprise you.

Doing more isn’t the same as growing deeper.

Somewhere along the way, many of us began believing that if we simply added more spiritual activities to our lives, we would naturally become more mature believers.

We filled our schedules with Bible studies, devotionals, worship playlists, podcasts, journals, and reading plans, hoping one more resource would finally help us feel close to God.

Those things are all good.

But good things can become heavy things when they become the measure of our relationship with God.

Over the years, and especially through conversations with women during Faith Design Profile debriefs, I’ve noticed a common pattern.

They genuinely love Jesus.

They aren’t walking away from their faith.

They’re simply exhausted.

They carry around one small word that quietly steals their joy:

Should.

“I should pray more.”

“I should know more Scripture.”

“I should be farther along by now.”

If you’ve ever heard that voice, you’re not alone.

Today I want to challenge one of the biggest myths many Christian women unknowingly carry:

Doing more won’t help you grow closer to God.

Hi, I’m DeneenTB, Faith Growth & Work Alignment Strategist and creator of the Faith Design Profile™. I help busy Christian women stop striving in their faith and grow closer to God with personalized rhythms that fit the way He designed them.

And if you’ve ever felt like you’re trying harder but still not experiencing the closeness with God you long for, I’d love to help you take the first step. My free Faith Shape Quiz will help you discover how God uniquely designed you to connect with Him.

The Myth We’ve Been Believing

We rarely say it out loud, but many of us quietly believe this equation:

• More Bible reading.
• More prayer.
• More serving.
• More learning.

=

More spiritual maturity.

It seems logical.

After all, spiritual disciplines matter.

Scripture encourages us to pray, study His Word, worship, serve, and gather with other believers.

But here’s the problem.

Those practices were never meant to become a scoreboard.

They were always meant to become meeting places.

Somewhere along the way…

our quiet time became something we measured instead of Someone we were meeting.

And when that happens, our relationship with God slowly shifts from delight…

to performance.

Martha Was Busy…

Jesus Wanted Mary

One of the clearest pictures of this is found in Luke 10:38–42.

Martha wasn’t doing anything sinful.

• She was serving.
• Preparing.
• Working.
• Doing good things.

Meanwhile, Mary simply sat at Jesus’ feet.

When Martha became frustrated, Jesus didn’t criticize her heart.

He gently reminded her what mattered most.

“Mary has chosen what is better…”

Jesus wasn’t comparing sisters.

He was revealing priorities.

The goal was never simply serving Jesus.

The goal was being with Jesus.

How often do we fill our calendars with things for God while leaving little room simply to enjoy Him?

Activity Isn’t the Same as Intimacy

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned through creating Faith Design Profiles is this:

Women don’t struggle because they don’t love God.

They struggle because they’ve confused activity with intimacy.

I’ve talked with women who faithfully complete Bible studies but feel disconnected.

Others who pray every day but constantly wonder if they’re doing enough.

Still others who serve tirelessly while secretly feeling spiritually empty.

Their problem isn’t a lack of effort.

It’s that effort has quietly become the measure of success.

But God has never measured your relationship by how much spiritual activity you complete.

He looks much deeper.

So…What Does Growth Actually Look Like?

The Apostle Paul gives us a completely different picture.

He doesn’t say spiritual maturity is measured by completed reading plans or perfectly consistent routines.

Instead he points us toward transformation.

“And we all…are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory…”
(2 Corinthians 3:18)

Notice the focus.

Transformation.

Not accumulation.

And what begins to grow as we walk with Christ?

• Love.
• Joy.
• Peace.
• Patience.
• Kindness.
• Goodness.
• Faithfulness.
• Gentleness.
• Self-control.

Those are the fruits of spiritual growth.

Not another checked box.

God Doesn’t Grow Every Woman the Same Way

This may be one of the most freeing truths I’ve discovered.

Through the Faith Design Profiles, I continue to see women who deeply love God but naturally connect with Him in different ways.

• Some come alive studying Scripture deeply.
• Others experience profound intimacy through worship.
• Some process their faith through journaling.
• Others meet God while serving, creating, walking, or sitting quietly in His presence.

The goal isn’t to copy someone else’s spiritual rhythm.

The goal is to faithfully respond to God in the way He uniquely designed you to grow.

That’s why comparison is such a dangerous teacher.

God never asked you to become someone else’s version of a faithful woman.

He’s inviting you to faithfully become the woman He designed you to be.

Three Better Questions

Instead of asking…

“Did I do enough today?”

Try asking…

Did I notice God’s presence today?

Instead of asking…

“Did I finish my reading plan?”

Ask…

What is God inviting me to become?

Instead of asking…

“Am I doing more?”

Ask…

Am I becoming more like Christ?

Those questions lead us toward relationship instead of performance.

If you’ve been striving…

Trying harder…

Collecting another Bible plan…

Wondering why you still feel spiritually stuck…

I hope you’ll hear this today.

God isn’t waiting for you to impress Him.

He isn’t keeping score.

He isn’t measuring how many chapters you finished this week before deciding whether to welcome you into His presence.

You weren’t created to earn God’s presence.

You were created to walk with Him.

And the beautiful thing about walking with someone is that it isn’t measured by speed.

It’s measured by relationship.

If you’ve realized that you’ve been trying to grow closer to God by simply doing more, I’d love to help you discover a different path.

The free Faith Shape Quiz is a great place to begin understanding how God may have uniquely designed you to connect with Him.

And if you’re ready to go deeper, the Faith Design Profile Experience will help you discover the personalized faith rhythms that fit the way God created you, so you can stop striving, leave comparison behind, and begin walking confidently with Him.

As you reflect on today’s message, do you think you’ve been measuring your faith more by what you do or by how closely you’re walking with Jesus? I’d love to hear what God is showing you in the comments.

Be filled to overflowing,

DeneenTB