When it comes to spiritual growth, many Christians are doing what they’ve been taught to do by trying harder, adding more disciplines, and measuring faithfulness by consistency.
But what if some of the frustration women feel in their faith life isn’t because they’re failing…
…but because Scripture is being interpreted through expectation instead of design?
And here’s the truth I want to name right away:
That tension isn’t a discipline problem.
It’s a design misunderstanding.
Somewhere along the way, many Christian women absorbed the idea that there is a right way to grow spiritually and that faithfulness looks the same for everyone.
But Scripture never says that.
And comparison quietly convinces us it does.
How Misunderstanding Scripture Leads to Comparison
Comparison isn’t the root problem, it’s the result of being taught that spiritual growth looks the same for everyone.
It sounds like:
- “I should want to pray like she does.”
- “Why doesn’t Bible study feel natural for me?”
- “Everyone else seems more consistent than I am.”
- “If I were more mature, this wouldn’t feel so hard.”
Over time, comparison does something subtle but damaging:
It disconnects us from how God actually designed us to love Him.
And when faith doesn’t fit, guilt fills the gap.
What Scripture Actually Says About Loving God
When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, He didn’t give a system or a list of practices.
He revealed how humans are designed to love God.
Let’s go back to one of the most foundational passages Jesus ever taught:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.”
— Mark 12:30
This verse is often taught as an obligation checklist:
- Make sure you’re doing all four.
- Make sure you’re balanced.
- Make sure nothing is missing.
But that’s not how Jesus framed it.
This isn’t a pressure command.
It’s a design revelation.
Design, Not Obligation
Mark 12:30 is a revelation of how love for God is expressed, not a prescription for uniform behavior.
Jesus didn’t say,
“Love God the same way as everyone else.”
He revealed four dimensions through which humans naturally connect with God:
- Heart – emotional connection, compassion, relational depth
- Soul – creativity, meaning, beauty, reflection
- Mind – understanding, truth, study, clarity
- Strength – action, service, obedience, tangible expression
These aren’t boxes to perform equally.
They’re pathways.
Scripture doesn’t tell us to copy someone else’s pathway.
It invites us to love God fully from the place we’re already wired.
Scripture names these dimensions because God knows we don’t all approach Him the same way.
Why Faith Feels Heavy for So Many Women
When spiritual growth is taught without acknowledging design, believers often adopt practices that were meaningful for someone else but misaligned for them.
So they:
- try harder
- add more practices
- stay longer
- feel guiltier
But effort can’t overcome misalignment.
Faith feels exhausting not because God is distant, but because the approach doesn’t fit.
Why This Matters (And Why It’s Freeing)
When you understand Mark 12:30 as design, everything shifts:
- You stop comparing your faith to someone else’s.
- You stop forcing practices that drain you.
- You stop measuring maturity by someone else’s expression.
You realize:
God wasn’t asking you to become someone else to love Him well.
He already shaped you with intention.
This is why I teach faith through the Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength (HSMS) framework.
Not to replace Scripture, but to help women live it out.
The HSMS Model™ helps you:
- identify which part of Mark 12:30 you naturally lead with
- understand why certain practices energize you and others don’t
- build faith rhythms that feel life-giving instead of burdensome
This isn’t about doing less for God.
It’s about loving Him from truth instead of pressure.
Let me say this clearly:
This isn’t about tearing down the Church or dismissing spiritual disciplines.
It’s about expanding understanding.
Scripture gives us truth.
Tradition gives us structure.
Problems arise when structure replaces discernment.
The Church has faithfully taught us what matters.
What many women need now is help understanding how that applies personally without guilt, comparison, or burnout so they can stay consistent.
How you can break free and follow scripture
If this reframing of Scripture is helpful, the next step is learning how it applies personally without pressure or comparison.
I invite you to join me for my upcoming virtual workshop, where we walk through Faith Shape™ discovery using the Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength framework and help you create faith rhythms and practices that truly fit you.
We take Mark 12:30 out of comparison mode and into clarity.
You’ll discover:
- which part of this verse you naturally live from
- why your past faith efforts may have felt misaligned
- how to begin building faith practices that actually fit your real life
Because faith isn’t meant to feel like pressure.
It’s meant to be lived with freedom, confidence, and design.
Which part of Mark 12:30 do you feel most drawn to right now Heart, Soul, Mind, or Strength?
Drop it in the comments. There’s no right answer, only discovery.
Be filled to overflowing,
DeneenTB
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