Have you ever looked at someone else’s faith routine and thought, “If I could just do what she’s doing, maybe I’d finally feel close to God”?
Maybe you’ve tried to piece together your faith from all the “right” places—
- You buy the latest devotional everyone’s posting about.
- You follow the Christian influencers who seem to have endless quiet time routines.
- You join the Bible study that’s trending in your women’s group.
- You even create a prayer closet after watching War Room—but end up staring at the walls wondering why it feels awkward instead of intimate.
Or maybe you’ve convinced yourself that real faith looks like waking up at 5 a.m. to spend an hour in Scripture and journaling pages of reflection… only to find yourself hitting snooze, feeling like a failure before the day even begins.
You love God. You’re showing up. You’re trying to do all the things that seem to work for everyone else—
but somehow, it’s just not working for you.
Instead of feeling connected, you feel guilty.
Instead of feeling filled, you feel drained.
And you start to wonder if maybe you’re the problem.
Hear me when I say: you’re not the problem.
The problem is that you’ve been trying to copy someone else’s rhythm with God instead of cultivating your own.
I want to help you change that.
Because when you stop striving to fit into someone else’s faith formula and start aligning with the way God uniquely designed you, your faith stops being a checklist and starts becoming a lifeline.
When you connect with Him through your design, not imitation, you move from trying harder to growing deeper.
Your faith stops being a routine and starts being a relationship again.
The Imitation Trap
So many Christian women I meet are exhausted—not because they don’t love God, but because they’ve been trying to grow by imitation.
We copy the faith habits of people we admire: our pastor’s Bible reading plan or the one he recommends from the platform, a friend’s prayer journal setup, a speaker’s morning routine and assume that if it worked for them, it should work for us too.
- We download another app that promises to help us stay consistent.
- We sign up for a 40-day study our small group is doing, even though we can barely keep up.
- We try fasting the way our church recommends, or force ourselves to journal daily because that’s what “spiritually disciplined” people do.
And when those things don’t stick—or don’t spark anything inside us, we quietly label ourselves as undisciplined or spiritually weak.
And there’s another layer we often overlook:
Your life circumstances—your season, schedule, responsibilities—also shape what’s realistic for your faith rhythms.
A mom with toddlers isn’t going to have the same quiet time as an empty nester.
A woman leading a business or managing a team won’t have the same bandwidth as someone with more open space in her day.
Even your physical or emotional health can change what connection looks like in this season.
You’re not less spiritual because your rhythm looks different.
You’re just in a different frame of life.
The truth? None of those things are wrong. They’re often good things… just not your things.
We forget that God didn’t design us as spiritual clones.
He gave each of us a unique blend of personality, strengths, and ways of thinking and those differences shape how we naturally connect with Him.
Some of us meet God in quiet reflection, others through deep study, others through movement, creativity, or meaningful conversations.
So why do we expect to feel close to God by doing what was never designed for our wiring?
When we imitate instead of align, our faith becomes mechanical.
We check boxes—pray, read, serve, repeat—but it doesn’t move our hearts.
We mistake activity for intimacy.
And over time, that imitation-driven faith leaves us tired, not transformed. Here’s a video that goes into deeper detail about why it is important to engage with God authentically.
Cultivating your personal rhythm
If imitation isn’t the way, what is?
The answer is alignment.
The truth is, God created you with a primary leading—your most natural way to love and connect with Him. It’s the part of you that instinctively reaches for Him without striving. That’s what the HSMS Model™ reveals: Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength, four ways of loving God drawn from Mark 12:30.
Each one reflects a different way to connect with Him, and when you discover yours, it feels like exhaling. Suddenly, faith doesn’t feel forced anymore—it fits.
Heart-Led
If you’re Heart-led, you connect best through relationships, worship, and compassion.
You feel God most vividly when you’re caring for others, listening deeply, or singing truths that move your soul.
You might find yourself journaling prayers for your friends, sending encouraging texts, or worshiping while you drive.
For you, people are your pathway to God.
Soul-Led
If you’re Soul-led, you thrive in reflection, creativity, and quiet communion.
You meet God in stillness—through journaling, drawing, music, or time in nature.
You may love to light a candle, breathe deeply, and reflect on how God has been present in your day.
Your faith often comes alive when you create beauty or slow down enough to notice His presence in the ordinary.
Mind-Led
If you’re Mind-led, you grow through study, structure, and truth.
You come alive when you’re learning, connecting Scripture to ideas, or digging deep into context and meaning.
You might love a good Bible commentary, enjoy taking notes during sermons, or create color-coded study guides.
You connect with God most when your mind is engaged and your understanding is expanding.
Strength-Led
If you’re Strength-led, you meet God through action, service, and embodiment.
You connect through doing—helping someone, organizing a project, or moving your body in prayer.
You may feel closest to God when you’re cooking for others, volunteering, gardening, or walking while talking with Him.
For you, faith becomes real when it moves from belief into motion.
Your primary leading is your starting point—the top-left corner of your FRAME Tool™ your unique path to a deeper relationship with God.
The primary leading is that part of you that feels most natural when you connect with God.
When you know this about yourself, you stop fighting your design and start flowing with it.
Faith becomes less about forcing and more about following: less about guilt and more about grace.
If you’re ready to discover your primary leading so you can finally build rhythms that fit your God-given design, take the Faith Shape Quiz.
It’s a simple, insightful tool that reveals how you’re uniquely wired to love God with results that will help you start cultivating your own authentic rhythm of faith.
Cultivating Deeper Rhythm
But here’s where it gets even more beautiful.
Because you’re not only one thing.
Discovering your primary leading is just the beginning—it’s where faith starts to fit.
But cultivating a deeper rhythm with God happens when you begin to see how your secondary leading supports and strengthens your primary one.
Think of it like a beautiful duet. Your primary leading carries the melody, and your secondary adds harmony, depth, and balance.
Your primary leading shows you how you naturally connect with God.
Your secondary leading shows you how God helps you grow beyond what’s natural.
Together, they create the rhythm that keeps your faith alive, dynamic, and sustainable.
Heart + Mind
If you’re Heart-led and Mind-supported, your compassion finds grounding in truth.
You may love people deeply but sometimes feel overwhelmed by their needs—your Mind secondary helps you set boundaries, return to Scripture, and stay rooted in God’s wisdom.
Practical rhythm: Journal a verse for the people you’re praying for, or study a passage about love before reaching out to encourage someone.
If your mix is Mind-led and Heart-supported, you bring warmth to your study.
Your Heart reminds your Mind that knowledge is meant to become connection.
Practical rhythm: After a study session, ask God, “Who needs this truth lived out through me today?”
Soul + Strength
If you’re Soul-led and Strength-supported, your reflection becomes action.
You may love deep, quiet time with God, but your Strength helps you bring what you’ve discerned into motion.
Practical rhythm: After journaling or creating, share one insight in a conversation or tangible act of service.
If you’re Strength-led and Soul-supported, your doing gains depth.
You may thrive on movement and productivity, but your Soul helps you slow down and remember why you’re serving.
Practical rhythm: Pause before you serve or lead—take a deep breath and ask, “Lord, how can this reflect You, not me?”
Mind + Strength
If you’re Mind-led and Strength-supported, your study turns into strategy.
You don’t just know truth—you live it. You may find joy in organizing ministry projects, mentoring others, or applying biblical principles at work.
Practical rhythm: End each Bible reading with one action step that brings your learning to life.
If you’re Strength-led and Mind-supported, your passion gains clarity.
You’re motivated by doing, but your Mind ensures your action is purposeful.
Practical rhythm: Before jumping into the next task, reflect on the “why” behind it—how does it align with truth?
Heart + Soul
If you’re Heart-led and Soul-supported, your relationships deepen through reflection.
You don’t just show up for others—you show up present.
Practical rhythm: After a meaningful conversation, take five minutes to pray or journal what God revealed through it.
If you’re Soul-led and Heart-supported, your creativity becomes connection.
You move from creating alone to sharing your art, story, or reflection to bless others.
Practical rhythm: Invite someone into what you’re creating—your Soul’s expression may be someone else’s encouragement.
My Example: Soul + Mind
For me, my primary leading is Soul, and my secondary is Mind—and understanding that combination changed everything about how I connect with God.
I used to think something was wrong with me because I couldn’t keep up with structured devotionals or early-morning routines.
What I really craved was space—time to reflect, write, and notice how God was speaking in the quiet.
That’s my Soul leading at work. I feel closest to God when I can slow down, journal about what He’s showing me, or take a walk and reflect on His presence in everyday moments.
But my Mind secondary keeps that reflection from drifting into endless thought.
It helps me anchor what I sense in truth and structure.
So now, when I journal, I’ll often pick one verse to focus on and ask:
“What truth is God highlighting here, and how does it apply to what I’m feeling right now?”
That small habit helps me bridge emotion and understanding—Spirit and structure.
- My Soul brings intimacy.
- My Mind brings insight.
Together, they help me not just feel close to God, but stay grounded in His Word.
That’s the beauty of discovering your combination: it helps you stop wondering what’s “wrong” with your faith practices and start embracing what’s right for how God designed you.
Building Momentum
When your secondary leading supports your primary, something shifts—your faith becomes whole.
You stop swinging between extremes of overdoing and under nourishing, striving and stalling.
You begin to walk with God in a rhythm that matches both your design and your season.
You don’t have to overhaul your life to grow, you just need to understand how your unique combination works together to keep you steady and growing.
And once you start to see how your design and your season align, you begin to realize something powerful: Growth isn’t about changing who you are; it’s about cultivating who God already made you to be.
From Copying to Cultivating
Here’s what I want you to hear:
Faith growth isn’t about adding more to your plate—it’s about adding meaning.
You don’t need to squeeze into someone else’s routine or try to prove your devotion through performance. You need a rhythm that reflects who you are and the season you’re in—a way of connecting with God that actually works for you, not against you.
Most women I work with are already doing so much: reading devotionals, joining studies, listening to podcasts and yet still feel spiritually tired.
Why? Because they’re doing good things without a clear plan that’s anchored in their unique design.
That’s why I guide women through the Personalized Faith Plan™ a process that helps you identify your unique Faith Shape, understand how you best connect with God, and build faith rhythms and practices that actually fit your season of life.
It’s not about doing more; it’s about doing what matters most.
When you grow without alignment, it’s like planting seeds in the wrong soil. . . no matter how much effort you put in, it won’t take root. But when you begin to cultivate your faith according to how God wired you, everything changes.
When you stop copying and start cultivating, your faith begins to breathe again.
- You feel peace where there used to be pressure.
- Joy where there used to be guilt.
- Consistency where there used to be striving.
You realize growth isn’t about doing all the right things—it’s about doing the right things for you.
And when your faith fits your God-given design, it starts to fuel everything else: your leadership, your work, your relationships. You show up in the world more rooted, more confident, and more connected to God than ever before.
Because a faith that fits doesn’t drain you—it sustains you.
It’s not about trying harder. It’s about having a plan that helps you grow deeper.
Because the goal isn’t to copy someone else’s walk with God—
It’s to confidently live the one He designed just for you.
Where have you noticed yourself imitating someone else’s faith instead of embracing how God uniquely designed you to connect with Him? What’s one way you could begin cultivating your faith this week instead of copying someone else’s routine?
I’d love for us to connect in the comments.
Be filled to overflowing,
DeneenTB
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