Have you ever reached a moment in your faith where you quietly thought:
“Maybe I just need to start over.”
Maybe your routines aren’t working anymore.
The things that once helped you feel close to God now feel repetitive… or heavy.
So the natural reaction is to think:
- Maybe I need a new study plan.
- A new devotional.
- A completely different routine.
But before you start changing everything about your spiritual life, there are three questions worth asking first.
Because what many women assume is a faith problem is often actually a clarity problem.
And when you gain clarity, you often discover something surprising:
You don’t need to overhaul your faith.
You need insight into what’s actually happening.
Question 1
What feedback is my faith giving me?
When something feels off spiritually, our first instinct is usually self-blame.
We assume:
“I must not be disciplined enough.”
“I should try harder.”
But what if your faith life is actually giving you feedback?
In every area of life—leadership, business, relationships—feedback helps us see what needs attention.
Your spiritual life works the same way.
When routines feel heavy, dry, or disconnected, something may be asking to be adjusted.
Often the issue is misalignment between your design and your practices.
This is where understanding the HSMS model can bring powerful insight.
Jesus tells us in Mark 12:30 to love God with:
Heart and Soul and Mind and Strength
But many spiritual routines emphasize only one or two of these ways of engaging God.
So if your natural leading is different, your practices can slowly start to feel forced.
For example:
A Heart-led woman often connects deeply through emotion, worship, and relational prayer.
If her spiritual life becomes overly structured or analytical, her connection may start to feel distant.
A Soul-led woman thrives through reflection, meaning, and creative expression.
If her routines become rigid or overly task-driven, she may feel spiritually squeezed.
A Mind-led woman grows through understanding, study, and thoughtful exploration of Scripture.
If her spiritual practices lack depth or intellectual engagement, she may feel disconnected.
A Strength-led woman often experiences God through action, service, and purposeful movement.
If her faith life becomes mostly passive or internal, she can feel spiritually restless.
When something feels off, your faith may simply be saying:
“The way you’re trying to grow right now doesn’t match how God designed you.”
And that’s exactly why I created the Faith Shape Quiz™.
It helps you quickly identify which of the four ways you most naturally connect with God—Heart, Soul, Mind, or Strength—so you can begin aligning your faith practices with how God designed you to grow.
Many women discover that the reason their faith feels heavy isn’t lack of commitment.
It’s that they’ve been using spiritual routines designed for someone else.
That’s not failure.
That’s feedback.
Question 2
What am I assuming spiritual growth ‘should’ look like?
Many women carry an unspoken expectation of what “strong faith” is supposed to look like.
Maybe it includes things like:
- A perfect morning quiet time.
- Long daily Bible studies.
- Consistent church involvement.
- A routine that never gets interrupted.
And while those practices can be meaningful, they aren’t the only ways spiritual growth happens.
For women leading businesses, managing teams, raising families, or navigating complex responsibilities, faith often grows in ways that look different than earlier seasons.
- Growth for a Heart-led woman may happen through worship while driving between meetings.
- Growth for a Soul-led woman may happen through reflective journaling after a meaningful conversation.
- Growth for a Mind-led woman may happen through studying a passage deeply during focused time.
- Growth for a Strength-led woman may happen while mentoring someone, solving a problem, or helping others succeed.
Spiritual maturity doesn’t mean forcing growth to look the same forever.
It means recognizing how God continues to shape your relationship with Him through the realities of your life.
When we hold too tightly to one image of what faith should look like, we unintentionally create pressure instead of connection.
But when we release those assumptions, we often discover that growth is already happening.
Just not in the way we expected.
Question 3
What season am I actually in?
One of the most overlooked influences on spiritual life is season.
Different seasons of life carry different rhythms, responsibilities, and capacities.
And ignoring season often creates unnecessary guilt.
You might currently be in a season of:
- Leadership expansion
- Career pressure
- Family responsibilities
- Health challenges
- Transition or rebuilding
I experienced this personally after my MS diagnosis.
The spiritual routines that once worked for me didn’t fit the season I was walking through.
At first, I assumed the solution was simply to try harder.
But eventually I realized something important.
God wasn’t asking me to recreate my old rhythms.
He was inviting me to discover new ways of connecting with Him that matched the season I was in.
And that realization changed everything.
Faith isn’t meant to stay frozen in one structure forever.
It grows and adapts as we move through life.
So instead of asking:
“How do I get back to what I used to do?”
A better question might be:
“What does faithfulness look like in this season?”
Before You Change Anything, Pause for Clarity
When faith feels off, the temptation is often to make dramatic changes.
- Start over.
- Reset everything.
- Try something completely different.
But changes made in confusion usually create more confusion.
That’s why these three questions matter so much. They help you pause long enough to see what’s really happening beneath the surface.
Because most of the time, the issue isn’t a lack of discipline, a lack of commitment, or a lack of love for God.
Often, the real issue is simply lack of clarity.
So before you change anything, ask yourself:
What feedback is my faith giving me?
What assumptions am I carrying about spiritual growth?
What season am I actually in?
Sometimes those questions reveal far more than starting over ever could.
And sometimes the most powerful step isn’t doing more. It’s pausing long enough to ask better questions.
Because when you do, you often discover something important:
You don’t need a complete reset.
You need insight.
Insight into what your faith is communicating.
Insight into the expectations you may be carrying.
And insight into the season God is walking with you through right now.
Clarity prevents unnecessary deconstruction.
And when you see clearly, the next step forward usually becomes much simpler—and much more peaceful.
If you’re sensing that something in your faith needs to shift, that’s worth paying attention to.
But you don’t have to figure that out alone.
A Clarity Call is simply a conversation where we explore:
- what your faith may be trying to show you
- where misalignment may be happening
- what next step could bring peace and momentum
Sometimes a short conversation brings the insight you’ve been searching for.
And, these three questions are actually the starting point of the next LIVE Workshop I’ll be hosting.
Inside the workshop we go deeper into:
- why faith can feel stuck even when you care deeply
- the four Faith Alignment states
- how to build a growth rhythm that fits your life and design
I’d love to have you join us.
AND…
Which of these three questions do you think you most need to sit with right now: feedback, expectations, or season?
Let me know in the comments.
Be filled to overflowing,
DeneenTB
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